“Trust your capacity to change” - Tara Brach Interview
My IOCDF Conference Key Takeaways
Well folks! Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today, we have another amazing guest interview as a part of our “We can do hard things” series. I am so excited to share with you an amazing interview with Cami Julaine, an avid mental health advocate, blogger, singer, actor and all-around wonderful person. In this week's episode, Cami shares her journey through Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, an Eating Disorder, Trichotillomania, Panic Attacks and Trauma.
One of the things I love the most about Cami is that she is so authentic and open. I know we all struggle with finding the motivation to keep moving forward sometimes, as managing Anxiety Disorders such as Panic Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Social Anxiety, Phobias, Health Anxiety can be very difficult. Cami shares with us a inspiring story of how she went from rock bottom to taking bold steps towards her recovery. Cami shares her story of being supported by family members and close friends (ahem, Paula Abdul) who urged her to get help.
This is an incredibly interesting and informative interview, as Cami shares how she had to blend many types of tools (and therapy) to get her to where she is today. Cami shares some wonderful mindfulness tools to help manage Panic Disorder and Panic Attacks. You will really love these tools, as they are very similar to ones we have discussed in previous episodes of Your Anxiety Toolkit, with a little Cami Juliane-twist. :) Cami also talks about her experience with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).
Finally, Cami shares with us how she has integrated spirituality with her recovery and how she practices self-care and self-compassion as a part of that practice. This is a topic that I have’t touched upon much at all and I am sure you will find it inspirational and validating.
You can find Cami Julaine on Instagram @camijulaine and more information on her website here.
One thing before we say goodbye. GET READY...because ERP School (our online course for Exposure & Response Prevention for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and other Anxiety Disorders) is COMING SOON, so stay tuned. Sign up HERE to be on the waitlist and be alerted as soon as it is available. PS: The first 20 people to sign up get a free, exclusive “We Can Do Hard Things Meditation” that you can download and use as often as you like. YES!
You Can Be Anxious AND Have Courage!
Courage. Where do we find it? How do we get it? And, once we get it, how do we keep it?
In this era, being courageous or brave comes with great expectations. Men are expected to show their “brave face” ALL the time, or they run the risk of being called a “sissy.” That is a lot of pressure! Women (and many times men too) are expected to multi-task multiple difficult things at once, but also must look pretty and be smiling while doing it.
But, to top it all off, we humans (men, women and children) with anxiety are often expected to meet all of the above criteria AND keep our anxiety to ourselves. Where did we get this from?! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard stories about family members or partners or parents who have told someone struggling with anxiety or depression (or another mental health struggle) to “be braver” or “toughen up” or “you gotta be stronger through this.” While I do understand what they are trying to convey, today’s podcast episode is all about approaching courage and bravery with a new (more reasonable) perspective.
You see, I like to think of bravery and courage as something you can experience WITH anxiety. I actually think they go beautifully together. We can feel dreadful fear AND be courageous. We can feel overwhelming sadness AND be strong. What we have been told about bravery and courage is all off. It limits us and makes us feel like we must not try things until we have no fear and we can “hold it together.”
I like to believe that the person who decided to go to the party, despite their tremendous social anxiety, is the brave one. I believe that the person who does that really hard thing (even if it happens to be easy for other people) is the courageous one. I believe the one who has a tear running down their face as they face their fear is a brave rock star!
I hope you enjoy this podcast episode and begin to challenge your view of what bravery and courage looks like. As always, thank you for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT School's online courses.
Enjoy!
Value-Based Living
Hello there CBT School FamilySurfing the Worry Imp's Wave
In this week's episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I had the pleasure of talking to Sharon Selby, Marriage and Family Therapist and Author. Sharon has written an amazing children’s book called Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave and this book is simply amazing.
Before you turn away thinking, “This doesn’t apply to me. This is about kids stuff!”, wait up! Since reading Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave, I have been using these techniques with some of my adult clients and they LOVE them too. This episode brings some helpful tools and tricks to manage anxiety and perfectionism (at any age). Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave is a science-based book using the same mindfulness tools and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) tools I use with some of my clients and members of the CBT School Campus with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Panic Disorder, Health Anxiety, Social Anxiety and Phobias.
During the episode, Sharon discusses her inspiration behind the book, her work with young children who have anxiety and what tools she has found to be super helpful. As I mentioned about, I have found that these tools are helpful for us BIG kids too (adults). Sharon also tells us about some of the games involved in the books and some helpful tools to manage fear, perfectionism, separation anxiety, and panic.
You guys know how much I LOVE a good story or metaphor, and there are plenty in this book. Here is one I want you to think about. In the book, Sharon talks about how our brains need to make mistakes to grow. If we make a mistake, it is like water on a plant. Mistakes help our brains grow into smarter and kinder people. I just adore this part of the book and it is something I have implemented with my young (and old) clients (and me too!). When I make as mistake, I now close my eyes and imagine my brain neurons growing and thriving. This is just one of the wonderful tools that Sharon talks about.
I cannot wait for you to listen to this week's podcast, and read this book. Surfing the Worry Imp’s Wave is a bookshelf must have, if you have kids with anxiety. But don’t forget, THIS big kid loves it too!!!
See the link below to get your hands on Surfing the Worry Imp's Wave:
https://www.sharonselby.com/product/surfing-worry-imps-wave-reducing-childrens-anxiety Sharon Selby's free e-book 8 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Your Child Is Anxious is available at: sharonselby.com/free-ebook You can also hear more about Sharon on her Website HEREThought Suppression Doesn't Work!!
Anxiety-Related Exhaustion is NO JOKE!
How Advocacy "Keeps Me Well": Interview with Ethan Smith OCD Advocate
If you missed last weeks episode 50 5 Lessons Learned from Hosting Your Anxiety Toolkit
Thank you again for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT Schools online courses. Please click here to find out more about Mindfulness School for OCD.
Today is a special day. Today I share the FIVE LESSONS LEARNED FROM HOSTING THIS PODCAST!
Today marks the 50th episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. I get a little sentimental during this one, but please stick with me.
Let me start by saying that I am so grateful for reaching 50 episodes. When I started this podcast, in my pjs in my kitchen with my sleeping baby next to me as I recorded my first episode, never in my wildest dreams could imagine what it would become. From this podcast came CBTSchool.com, and from CBT school came a community that I could never have imagined.
So Today, on this 50th episode, I celebrate YOU! And, today I want to talk to you about what I have learned and a few of my favorite quotes that I live by (and I promise this will apply to you).
In this episode, I share 5 lessons learned by hosting this podcast and I have lived by as I hosted this podcast. I have to be honest. I have learned SO much and I cannot wait to share the lessons with you. I won't pretend it has all been easy. It hasn't. There was a couple of time that this podcast nearly didn't get made. And, there were quite a few times it was made OVER AND OVER! All I can say is that I am so grateful for your support and compassion as I bumped along. If you missed last weeks episode 49 The Content of Your Thoughts Are Not Important Thank you again for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT Schools online courses. Please click here to find out more about Mindfulness School for OCD.One of the biggest struggles my clients have is when they get caught up in the belief that their specific intrusive thoughts or fears warrant LOTS of attention and moral weight.
This is one of the most difficult things to manage when you are struggling with significant anxiety. We can see that other peoples fears are irrational, but when it comes to our specific fear, we become unglued, confused and reactive.
Here are a few questions that I want you to ask yourself before listening to this podcast.
Have you caught yourself saying any of the following?
1. “It's easy for you to say to, "just accept the thoughts". You don’t have thoughts about hurting someone all day like I do (insert here whatever thought you are obsessing or ruminating on). This thought is WAY worse than other thoughts.”
2. “This isn’t any old thought. This would destroy my life if this thought came true.”
3. “I know I have to accept the uncertainty, but this isn’t just a thought”
These are all examples of getting caught up in our thoughts content.
When we get caught up in the CONTENT of our thoughts we can get stuck in a cycle of anxiety.
When we give our thoughts all of this attention and value, our brains become hypervigilent and get even more worked up about the presence of these thoughts, feelings, and sensations. Please note here, I am in NO WAY telling you this is your fault. This is just the way our brains work. We also have be to careful about our narrative about this thought. If we tell ourselves the thought is "bad", that triggers self-judgment, shame and self-doubt. Then we are off and running, judging ourselves more and putting ourselves down.
Listen to the podcast to hear my FIVE STEPS to help when you are getting caught in the content of your thoughts.
At the end of the podcast, I offer a little Challenge for you.
Observe your thoughts and ask yourself if you could start to make any of these changes in your life.
If you do notice that you are giving too much weight to a thought, try to practice Non-judgment (Ep 1) or Beginners Mind (ep 6) or What you say to yourself Matters (ep 17).
Thank you again for supporting me with this podcast and with CBT Schools online courses. Please click here to find out more about Mindfulness School for OCD.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I attended and was honored to present at the Southern California OCD Conference ran by socalocd.com. It was such an incredible event and I left with my heart feeling full and mind inspired.
The thing about these conferences is that the energy of the attendees is so infectious. At the beginning of the day, the room is filled with anticipation and hope. These conferences are held in hope to give tools and support to those in the community with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. After listening to the keynote speakers and breaking into group sessions where attendees learn tools to manage their OCD (I spoke on Mindfulness and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for OCD), we meet at the end of the day for a final Q&A with the panelists. The room was filled with togetherness. There was a sense of community and cohesion that warmed my heart (and it lasted for days). The next day, I posted on Instagram how honored I was to attend such a beautiful conference and I sent out the message that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I knew a lot of people were not able to attend such a wonderful event and I wanted to spread the love and connection that I was feeling. The response flawed me. Direct Messages and emails came in from those who are struggling with OCD and Anxiety and Depression, reporting how alone they feel. It got me wondering.Do you feel ALONE in your suffering?
Do you feel like no one understands just how hard it is for you? Do you feel like no one could possibly understand what is it like to experience such anxiety and fear and panic?I am also wondering, Do you feel alone in your bravery?
Do you feel like no one understands or appreciates how incredibly brave you are? You get up every day and do your best to get through the day with anxiety and depression and dread. You face your fears, not because you want to, but because you HAVE to. Do you feel so alone that you feel angry? Maybe you are so angry and hurt because no one else you know has to face their fears every single day, day in and day out.Do you feel alone because everyone else seems to do the thing that you fear so easily?
If any of this describes you, this episode is for you. You are NOT alone! Click the below link to be added to the group. I would LOVE to have you join us.CBT School Campus Private Facebook Group
Link to OCD So Cal Below:
OCD SoCal is an affiliate of the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation (IOCDF)Why can't I just distract myself from the thoughts?
Can I just Listen to music to drown out the thoughts?
Can I imagine a Stop Sign when having intrusive thoughts or worrying?
What about squashing thoughts like a bug?
If I think it, is it my unconscious mind trying to tell me something?
My Doctor told me that I just need one really heavy period for this anxiety to pass
My Doctor told me my Anxiety is due to not being breastfed
OCDbaltimore.com The OCD and Anxiety Center of Greater Baltimore
Twitter: CBTOCD
Facebook: @JonHershfield
Click here to read about how Mindfulness can help you.We must come to accept that much of what we think is incorrect.
I want to introduce you to TWO words that could change your life and make you more present if you put it into practice enough.
Before I share the words with you, I want to encourage you to first get used to observing what you are thinking, feeling, experiencing.
It could be emotions such as sadness, anger, frustration, irritability etc.
It could be thoughts, such as "I am so angry- I am so upset- I am not getting better- I cant do this- I cant handle this- I am feeling hopeless......"
It could be sensations such as panic and anxiety-related sensations, increased heart rate, shaking, sweating, depersonalization etc
It could be sensations related to Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviors (Trichotillomania and Compulsive Skin Picking) such as tingling fingers, itchiness or throbbing.
Once you are able to notice and observe these experiences, I encourage you to click on the link and add these two little words to your narrative.
Enjoy! I hope they bring you as much peace as they bring me. I have even added a short meditation to help you with this practice. :)