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Your Anxiety Toolkit

Your Anxiety Toolkit aims to provide you with helpful tools to manage anxiety, stress and other emotions that get in the way.
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Now displaying: November, 2019
Nov 29, 2019

Ep. 129: I successfully failed 100 times Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast Host Kimberley Quinlan, mental health, therapy, OCD, anxiety, depression, mindfulness

Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. In this week's podcast, I want to talk with you about how I failed 100 times this year. Wait, What?!?! Yes, you heard right! In 2019, I made the goal to fail on purpose 100 times. The goal was to set my goals so high that I was forced to fail. And guess what? I failed 100 times. I possibly failed 1000 times. I failed so many times I lost count.
In this podcast, my hope is to share with you my personal experiment in changing the way that I feel and respond to the thought of failure. 

Here are examples of how I failed 100 times: 

•    I asked a lot of people to come on the podcast.  A lot of people said no.  I knew they would, but I figured it was worth a try.  But, do you know what I learned? I learned that a lot of people I didn’t think would say yes did.  

•    I took a course that was so hard and out of my line of skills and really struggled to complete it. 

•    I started playing the ukulele even though I was so afraid of being terrible at it (which I am). 

•    I pitched a book to a publishing company (more on this later). 

•    I said yes to being Room Mum for both of my kids (knowing I would not be the best at it).

•    I aimed to increase registration for ERP School and we did it. We reached the highest registration yet. 

But here is the thing. I also failed 100 times at things I never set out to fail at. I had to accept in many ways that I cannot push my body to do things that I simply could not do. This was the hardest part about failing. I had to stare my fear of failing at the easy stuff over and over again. 

Here are examples of how I not only failed 100 times, but gave myself permission to fail, even though it hurt so much. 

◆    Remember that course I told you about? I got so sick, I didn’t finish it. I had to drop out and this made me face imperfection and failure head-on.  

◆    I was a less than perfect therapist! I missed sessions with clients, and I double booked clients during times when I was so overwhelmed.   

◆    I gave myself permission to share the struggles I have had with friends. I was so embarrassed to do this, but I am so glad I did.  I learned that when you share your struggles, you actually feel more connected with the people around you.  

But finally, the most important example of how I failed 100 times is the decision I have made to take a month off of the podcast. After much consideration, I have decided to listen to my body and take the month of December to rest, rejuvenate and repair. I fought this decision for a long time, but I know it is what I need.

With that being said, I want to thank you for being so loyal and kind to me. I adore your support. I wish you a very Happy 2019 Holiday! I will be back in January, ready to go. Ready to fail! 

FREE anxiety video training! Learn how to become more intentional with the words you use to describe yourself, your experiences and your future.
Cbtschool.com/thinkwisely

Nov 21, 2019

Ep. 128: Are You Struggling with Gratitude? With Shala Nicely,Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast Host Kimberley Quinlan, OCD, Anxiety, CBT, therapy

Are you struggling with gratitude this holiday season?  If so, this episode is exactly what you might need to hear.  In today’s episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit, I spoke with Shala Nicely about struggling with gratitude.  Together, we address why some people might be struggling with gratitude or being grateful, especially if they are also struggling with mental health.  

In this episode, Shala Nicely addresses the personal struggles she has had in the past with gratitude and some incredible tools to manage this. 

Shala so beautifully articulates three common reasons why people struggle with gratitude. The first two struggles fall under the category, that Shala calls, gratitude by comparison. This often occurs when you are supposed to be doing “better” than someone else, but you do not feel very grateful. Shala explains that gratitude by comparison can fall into two separate categories: relief-induced gratitude and guilt-induced gratitude.

The third common struggle is forced gratitude.  An example of this might be, “I should be grateful and I’m not. What’s wrong with me?” or, “You have everything going for you. Why can’t you just be thankful for what you have instead of focusing on the negative?” 

I love that Shala addresses how forced gratitude quickly becomes what we know clinically as toxic positivity. 

Some great tips if you are struggling with gratitude might be: 

            • Mindfulness 

• Practicing wonder, curiosity or beginners mind

            • Non-Judgment 

            • Give yourself permission to not practice gratitude over the holidays

BFRB SCHOOL is here!
A COMPLETE ONLINE COURSE FOR BODY-FOCUSED REPETITIVE BEHAVIORS (BFRB’s)
Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
Compulsive Skin Picking
Compulsive Nail Biting
https://www.cbtschool.com/bfrb-school-online-course-trichotillomania-skin-picking

Free Video Training for Anxiety! Cbtschool.com/thinkwisely

Check out these other fantastic episodes featuring Shala Nicely!

Nov 15, 2019

Ep.127: Using ACT to Get You Unstuck with Giulia Suro, Ph.D., Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast Host Kimberley Quinlan Host

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today we have a very special guest, Giulia Suro, Ph.D., who is going to talk to us about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and how we can use ACT tools in our everyday life. Giulia is a psychologist in private practice in the Washington, D.C. area. She is passionate about ACT and helping her clients develop a new way of looking at their thoughts and feelings. Giulia does such a beautiful job of bringing these ACT tools to us in a compassionate and articulate manner. Thank you, Giulia!

In this episode, we address how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy centers on the concept of mindfulness. We learn that ACT is really quite unique because anyone can use the tools regardless of the struggles they are facing. Giulia discusses how fighting or resisting those struggles can impact us in the long term and we learn that ACT involves moving towards our values. We also address the core ACT tools that Giulia uses in her daily life and in her practice, such as, the Bullseye worksheet (link below). 

Giulia Suro beautifully addresses the following questions with grace, care, and expertise: 

What is ACT? 

Why do we use ACT In everyday life? 

How can it complement our recovery/wellness plan? 

What tools does she use with her clients? 

What tools does she personally use? 

What struggles does she see some of her clients go through when practicing ACT?

Giulia's Website: www.giuliasuro.com
Instagram @drgiuliasuro
Workbook: Learning To Thrive

Bullseye Worksheet
file:///Users/kimberleyjquinlan/Downloads/Bulls%20Eye%20Values%20Exercise.pdf

BFRB SCHOOL is here!
A COMPLETE ONLINE COURSE FOR BODY-FOCUSED REPETITIVE BEHAVIORS (BFRB's)
Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
Compulsive Skin Picking
Compulsive Nail Biting
https://www.cbtschool.com/bfrb-school-online-course-trichotillomania-skin-picking

Nov 6, 2019

Ep.126: Sex and Anxiety Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast Host Kimberley Quinlan therapy OCD CBT Mindfulness

Welcome to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast.  This topic has been a long time coming, and highly requested. This week’s podcast is all about anxiety and sex.  In this podcast, we talk about how anxiety and sex can become two peas in a pod and how anxiety can present itself in many different ways.   While I am not a sex therapist, I do have a lot of experience talking with my clients about anxiety and sex.

The truth is, there are many ways anxiety shows up during sex, or sex shows up in our anxiety. This is true for many people and this can become very confusing.  People often report anxiety impacting sex in many ways.  This might include loss of arousal, loss of libido or interest in sex, intrusive thoughts during sexual intercourse, hyper-awareness of sexual-related sensations and many more.  

In this week’s episode, we address the following topics

            •          Social Anxiety:  In social anxiety, people are afraid of being judged by their sexual partner and will often avoid sexual interactions in fear of being judged. For people struggling with social anxiety and sex, they must accept the risk of being judged and work to find a partner who respects them and their fears.  Finding safety in a partner can help immensely. 

            •          Performance anxiety: This involves the fear of not being able to perform well (or perfectly) in sexual interactions.  This is very common and often involves setting realistic expectations for ourselves.  

            •          OCD: There are many ways that OCD can create anxiety around sexual intimacy. This is most common for those who have sexual orientation obsessions, relationship obsessions, or pedophilia obsessions 

            •          Panic Disorder: Symptoms of panic can often come on during all stages of intimacy, not just anticipatory anxiety  

            •          Trauma: Trauma is a very important component to address.  We encourage people who have trauma in this area to seek professional mental health care and work through these issues with a safe and caring clinician.

Find a Sex Therapist: 
https://www.aasect.org/aasect-requirements-sex-therapist-certification

https://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Marriage/dp/B00159T73Q

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