I am so excited to share with you some news about the work I am focusing on in 2018!
But first, let me tell you the back story.
Each year, I do my best to attend several conferences for OCD, Anxiety, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s) and Depression. I have had the privilege of presenting at many of these conferences over the years and I often return home in a state of joy, empowerment and determination to help those who struggle with these debilitating disorders. I love learning all about the evidence-based treatment modalities for OCD, Anxiety Disorders and Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors such as Trichotillomania and Skin Picking and using the skills to increase recovery outcomes and improve self-esteem and self-care.
However, last year, I left one of the conferences quite sad. I was sad for those sufferers who attended the conferences and then had to return home to their hometown, with very little support and no evidence-based services but licensed mental health professionals. So few therapist know how to treat OCD, BFRB’s and Anxiety Disorders using the treatment modalities that are so successful and appropriate.
From this frustration, I decided to create an online psycho-education platform where I can offer support and educational products to those who cannot access correct care.
I am so proud to announce the creation of CBTschool.com. CBTschool.com is an online platform when you can access information and online courses on how to overcome your struggles with OCD, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB’s), Anxiety Disorders, Panic and Depression. Each course will apply Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (hence the term CBT, in CBT School) and Mindfulness Tools. These are the exact tools I use with my clients every day in my office.
I currently have one course ready to be purchased, called Mindfulness School for OCD. I will talk more about this in coming podcasts. Keep an eye out, as there will be more to purchase very soon.
In addition to the online courses, I plan to meet at a designated time each month to join with you on Facebook Live and Instagram, to answer any questions you may have and help you along with your journey.
More exciting news is the YOUR ANXIETY TOOLKIT podcast is now a production of CBTschool.com and we will continue to provide evidence based tools for Anxiety, Depression and Emotional Dysregulation.
Lastly, if you check out CBTschool.com’s websites, you will see that there is also some awesome free PDF’s available to help you with self care and mindfulness.
I am so thrilled to share this news with you. Feel free to connect with me on FB or Instagram.
Now, onto the important stuff!
This episode is a part or an ongoing series where we discuss Problematic Anxiety Related Behaviors (also know as Compulsions).
In this episode, we will discuss a very important and problematic compulsion, which is Avoidance.
Avoidance is a common behavior we employ to manage anxiety, fear, panic, obsessions and intrusive thoughts.
While our brain uses "flight" to activate us to run away from real danger and stressors, we sometime use avoidance and "flight" to avoid thoughts and fears of bad things happening.The problem is, the more you avoid events or experiences that you perceive to be dangerous (when really they are not currently a risk to your wellbeing) the more you tell your brain that that event or experience is dangerous and the more your brain responds with physical anxiety when you go to the event or engage in the experience.
Example: What if I get sick if I touch that door handle or ATM teller?
NOTE: Sentences that begin with “WHAT if” imply that they have not happened yet.
If you were my client and this was a common fear for you, and you have been avoiding this, I would have you go and use the ATM bank teller!!
By not avoiding, we unlock the fear response cycle our brain is looped into.
This applies to fears that you are a bad person, that you will do something wrong, that awful horrible things will happen.
Trick!!! When I say that….what is the immediate thought you have?
But, Kimberley, my fear is serious!! Nope. Your fear is a thought
But Kimberley, I could ruin peoples live if I stopped avoiding the thing I am afraid of. POSSIBLY!!
Here is my questions for you. What kind of life do you want to live? Consult with your values.
Do you want to live in fear? Do you want to let anxiety make your decisions? Or even more, a thought make your decisions?
Or, do you want to strengthen courage and resilience?
This is a question we have to ask ourselves every day. How Do I want to live my life?
Take risks! Look at your life and ask yourself what you are avoiding. Try to not let anxiety win this one.
Find a way to reduce the avoidance.
Find a way to forgive yourself for avoiding it for so long. Don't beat yourself up.
Have a wonderful week everyone! See you next week!Today, we have an AMAZING guess on the podcast, Dave Trachtenberg. Dave is the Program Director at Minds Incorporated. Minds Inc. is a non-profit dedicated to empowering Washington DC-area schools by teaching mindfulness-based practices to students, educators, and parents.
During the Podcast, Dave shares howMinds Inc. teaches students, starting in elementary school (and their educators, and parents) simple daily mindfulness practices. Dave speaks about how these teachings increase focus and attention, reduce stress and anxiety, create resilience and the capacity to handle difficult emotions, and build compassion.
As discussed in the podcast, sometimes when I get down about the state of the world, I find myself doing late night Google searches on how I can make it better. In my searches, I found Minds Inc's website and came across Dave. Dave shared some beautiful stories about helping young children and teens and also shared his own struggles with OCD, Tic Disorder, Depression and Self-worth.
Dave answered the following questions:
Tell us about Minds Inc?
What got you involved in teaching meditation to Teachers, Students and Parents?
What is your personal experience with meditation and Mindfulness?
What at some experiences/examples of situations you have had with youth at Minds Incorporated? (successes, struggles, changes made)?
What type of meditation does Minds Inc. teach?
What special tools/practices do you use for living mindfully?
What advice do you give for those starting out with meditation?
Tell us how you manage struggles with meditation?
How can we teach our children?
This was one of my favorite conversations and I am so thrilled to share it with you. I would love to hear your feedback. Have a wonderful day! Kimberley Resources: Mindsincorporated.org Brain Lock Angel Kyodo Williams http://transformativechange.org/founder/ Pema Chodron Link here Mindfulness For Dummies Mindfulness An * Week Plan How to Live in a Frantic WorldIn today’s podcast, I wanted to dissect the concept of Vulnerability.
Brene Brown, reknowned researcher on Vulnerability defines Vulnerability as
“Uncertainty, Risk and Emotional Exposure”
I think many humans struggle with these concepts, but I feel that it is significantly difficult for those who struggle with these mental health disorders. In many cases, there is a complete rejection of vulnerability.
I believe we think that if we avoid vulnerability, we
can rid ourselves of shame, embarrassment, being judged, feeling sad or hurt.
However, all we end up doing is numbing.
When we have anxiety, we think that if we avoid vulnerability, we could rid ourselves of possible bad or catastrophic outcomes.
However, all we end up doing is becoming compulsive.
In this podcast, I detail the workings of those who are successful at being vulnerable and take a look at the outcomes that result.
We will outlines ways that you can practice vulnerability in large or small steps.
We look at the repurcussions of staying safe and avoiding vulernability and we detail the research’s findings about self-worth and conectivity.
I hope you enjoy it! This is one of my favorite subjects.
Forward we go!
Kimberley
Photo by Nathan Anderson on UnsplashFor anyone in Las Vegas or Puerto Rico or any other place where there is destruction and pain, please know that I am praying for you and I hold you in my heart.
These scary events can trigger our already high anxiety, so please listen for some tips and tools to manage your anxiety about the current events and affairs in the news.My main message in this podcast is this:
I have outlined a step-by-step plan to help you better manage your narrative related to anxiety. We go into greater detail in the podcast, so enjoy listening!
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Enjoy!
This podcast should not replace professional mental health care. This podcast is for education purposes only. If you feel you would benefit by seeing a clinical professional, please contact a professional mental health care provider in your area.
Dan Harris' 10% Happier book and App.
https://www.amazon.com/10-Happier-Self-Help-Actually-Works/dp/0062265431/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1500508777&sr=8-1&keywords=10%25+happierThe Skill of Awareness
Halloween is just around the corner and we are moving into the holiday season.
You may notice that you can go the whole day without noticing. You are in what I call Autopilot. Much of the time we are so in our head, we forget to be aware
When we experience stress, we assume that something fundamentally is wrong or that a disaster will happen. We become disconnected. We avoid situations. We stop taking care of ourselves. We get irritated. We mentally ruminate. We judge ourselves negatively.
For those who have OCD, you have more obsessions and do more compulsions
For those with an Eating Disorder, you might restrict more, or binge more, or purge more. If you have a Body Focused Repetitive Behavior (BFRB), you will spend more time in a “trance” state.
Awareness can be a VERY helpful tool to protect us against these behaviors.
What is Awareness?
Definition
I particularly love the second definition.
Concern:
The goal is to take more interest in your surroundings or notice the atmosphere of your brain.
Well informed:
Eg: “I can’t do this” (test, get up, stop a behavior that is problematic, get a new job, go to a party etc).
Thoughts without anxiety= no big deal
Thoughts with fear/anxiety: Must be a sign of trouble to come
Being well informed allows us to identify what is a thought and what is a fact, despite what emotion or feeling it is coupled with.
Often, we have thoughts about events of developments that have not even occurred yet. We try to use our thinking as a way to confirm certainty or find the solution.
Let me ask you…
How successful and productive is your thinking about this not-yet-occurring situation?
Could there be peace in not going over every last detail of the possible disaster?
Are we using up THIS present moment to find solutions, without recognizing that RIGHT NOW is still and quiet and safe?
One of the main reasons we mentally ruminate is FEAR. It’s everywhere.
If you have fear, it may not feel safe, but your job is to watch how caught up you get with it. Become more aware of the unrealistic and irrational places it takes you.
You can practice awareness simply by bringing your attention to your surroundings. The 5 Senses Meditation is an easy way to practice this tool.
One of my most favorite ways to managing this is with the following meditation.
The more you practice it formally, the better you become at it.
The better you become at this awareness practice, the more you are able to use it during your busy day, or when distressed, or even panicking. It is an amazing tool. I hope you enjoy it.
Meditation:
Find a position that is comfortable
Put your feet flat on the ground
Slowly close your eyes,
Soften your eyebrows, your jaw, your shoulders, your stomach, your hands, your feet.
Breathe in
Breathe out
Bring your attention to your breath
Notice the rise and fall of your chest
Imagine that your breath is like a swinging door. Each time you breathe in, the door swings to the left. Each time you breathe out, the door swings to the right.
Continue to follow this pattern, just keeping your minds eye on the swinging door.
You may find that your thoughts wonder off. That is ok.
Just gently bring yourself back to the image of the swinging door as you breathe in and out.
Continue to breathe, allowing your breath to decide its own rhythm, and while watching the swinging door swing back and forth gently and evenly.
It is important to remember that it is natural for your thoughts to go off towards something completely unrelated. You may notice that your thoughts often go to very scary or disturbing subjects. You may start to go over all the things you have to achieve later today, or in your life.
When you become aware of this, just come on back. Come back to your breathe, as your anchor. Gently come back to the swinging door.
You may find that you have to do this “coming back” quite a lot. Again, this is totally normal and healthy, showing us that your brain is alive and well. Try not to be hard on yourself for this. The goal is to learn the great discipline of coming back to our present moment and not get caught up in thoughts that are not helpful.
Continue to practice this, noticing your breath and the swinging door.
Slowly, bring your attention back to your body
Slowly open your eyes
Congratulate yourself for trying as hard as you did.
May this practice bring you strength and compassion with the thoughts that you have.
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I hope you have enjoyed this episode of My Anxiety Toolkit. My name is Kimberley Quinlan.
This podcast is not intended to replace correct professional mental health care. Please speak to a trained mental health professional if you feel you need it.
Have a wonderful day
Self-Compassion is a helpful tool for managing shame and blame and negative self-talk. It is particularly, in my experience, helpful for those struggling with OCD, Panic Disorder, Phobias, Health Anxiety, Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors, Eating Disorders and Depression.
The Center for Mindful Self Compassion (centerformsc.org) describes self-compassion in the following way-
“Self-compassion involves responding in the same supportive and understanding way you would with a good friend when you have a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself.”
Self-compassion is Kindness, Warmth, Gentleness and Care.
When I talk about the practice of self-compassion, I use the metaphor that self-compassion washes away shame and blame like the rain washes away the dirt on our cars. As the rain gently falls, the dirt slowly falls away. Once the rain has come and gone, there is less heaviness and dirt on the car. It is easier to see out the windows and now you can see the beautiful fields and trees that you pass on your way to work or school.
A part of this metaphor includes this final sentiment. Even though the rain has come and gone and the car is mostly cleansed of its dirt, there is still slight streaks of the dirt left behind.
As much as I would love to say that self compassion will wash away all of the dirt and dust on the car, this is not realistic. The tiny little streaks left behind is a reminder that compassion is a job that is never over. It must be practiced over and over, for the years to come.
This podcast offers a meditation that uses the basics of Kristin Neff’s self compassion research, including the three elements of self compassion. For more info go to selfcompassion.org